BIO - Keith De'Grau

Hello all in Galootdom, I'm the guy who makes the hones, Couldn't stay away,
lurked for a few hours but it  made me feel dirty, probably because now that
I look at myself, I am dirty.  

Anyway, J. Spiller stopped by last week & suggested I  adjust the frog on one
of my Stanleys to close the mouth up for hardwoods, never thought to do it, I
did, it works great, I figured if that kind of info is here I just have to
join in - hope I can contribute.

I have a tendency to think of life in stages rather than years, seeing as how
 I've taken to shouting back at the TV, wear slippers, and ear & nose hair
are battling for control of my face, I  assume I'm middle aged, or was, once.

I'm a woodworker, have been since I was young model prisoner at a forced
labor camp known to others as 'Keith's father the master carpenters house'
where I quickly learned 'dodge the two by four because you fetched  the wrong
tool',  advanced  to Moron First Class, on to Mullet Head,  and  finally
learned to stroke my chin thoughtfully when others asked me wood questions,
while actually  wondering if the world really can run out of scotch.

Wrote for a living as a young man, sold some stuff, once to the National
Enquirer during their more prominent years when they had great headlines like
'Mom uses son's face for ash tray'...ah,  the good old days.

Once was involved with a girl  who thought I'd look good in a suit so I
finished college, worked through the corporate ranks and ended up  as a
senior financial analyst for North American Phillips. One Monday morning I
wished it were Friday, figured I was wishing my life away five days at a
time, ditched the girl, quit the job, and started work in an art gallery.
Made a lot of dough, went bust, ended up bewildered on a street corner with
my pockets turned inside out... did I ask the Good Lord for the lottery - no,

......I'm not that smart & I couldn't afford a ticket anyway.

So I went  back to basics,  figured if I could turn a tree into something
other people liked I could have a nice life & make a living. For awhile I did
production work for several different industries, some custom work on peoples
homes, got tired of all that and began to design & sell small inlay boxes,
weird mirrors, and of course the leather hones & belts, which is going pretty
well . 

Been making my living as a woodworker for about eight years, I haven't had
what one would call a normal life. I'm a white guy living in a black town, a
Catholic living with a nice Jewish girl, and, as a confirmed heterosexual and
borderline homophobic, shared a house with two gay guys before I met her. I
have a basic philosophy which is 'most folks cause their own troubles',
learned from the fact that SWMBO didn't know I drank till the one day I
showed up sober.

So, while the chances of my being chosen to  greet the aliens when they land
are pretty slim,  I figure I  might  fit in with you guys, it's nice to know
I'm not the only one who planes wood for no apparent reason & can turn any
living room into a wood shop in seconds.
Keith De'Grau